Non sono qui

Well, Fiddlesticks.

2009-01-19T11:32:00.001-05:00

2009 really isn't going very smoothly so far.

My car broke down again, for the second time in as many weeks (third time in the last four months). Last time it was the alternator, which is at least do-able financially. This time it's looking like there's a crack in the block. So, now I'm debating whether it is more effective to replace the motor or simply get a new (well, used but new to me) car, with my non-existent money. Gah. I suppose I should wait for the official diagnosis instead of just assuming the worst, but given how everything's been going lately, I'm a bit pessimistic.

I am rather suspicious of this week- it could either go very well or quite not-well depending on my car, a discussion I need to have with my landlord, a Work Thing, and my birthday on Friday. I'm attempting to remain neutral in my outlook on it, if not positive. I keep reminding myself that ultimately none of the things that are currently worrying me are life-changing events, as inconvenient as they may be at present.

On the upside of things, my guests have departed, so I'm able to actually relax again, which is a huge help. Oh, and the Sharks beat the Redwings, which is awesome.

Of lacking hostess skills and car mechanics

2009-01-07T12:04:00.000-05:00

It's a whole new year, and I haven't posted a thing. In my defense, the new year has been somewhat trying so far. The bad news is that my year has started with house guests (this is something I have difficulty with), car trouble and a Sharks loss (boo!). The good news is I have a new favorite mechanic, as of this morning, and I was so very, very happy at the end of December that I at least started in a good place. I'm a little bit cranky, but overall I think I'll be fine.

Houseguest Confession: I am definitely not cut out to be a hostess. A good friend is staying with me for a few weeks, and asked me if her father could come to visit. It's not that he (or she, for that matter) isn't nice and all, but this has been problematic. I'm having to take very long, deep breaths and calm myself down roughly every half hour. I just feel like I have to be on all the time, and I have trouble relaxing around people (particularly male people) who I don't know. Additionally, I am the World's Lightest Sleeper, and also have trouble sleeping when I'm tense. Just to finish off the whole mess, I'm terribly territorial, though I'm not entirely sure why. In any event, being at home is a constant mantra of 'gaaaahhh!!! No, no, breathe, Monica, breathe, it's ooooookay. Just be calm. Calm. Calm. Calm. Calm."

I'm not sure what to do about this quirk on my part. I don't want to be the sort of person who just never has house guests- when I think about it in theory, I don't seem to mind, but in practice it drives me absolutely crazy. It's not even that my current guests are particularly impolite or anything, though they aren't excessively considerate either- they're fine. So what's up with me? Is this unusual? Am I missing some sort of Good Host Gene? Or is this just the flipside of being such a quiet/alone time loving quasi-hermit? WHY CAN I NOT BE BOTH? Sigh.

New Year's Car Trouble: My car is over ten years old, and is starting to show its age a bit. The check engine light went off on New Year's Day, and on Monday evening, the alternator died. Late at night. In the rain. When I'd forgotten my cell phone. Of course. After walking a few blocks to a pay phone and calling AAA, I was picked up by a tow truck whose driver had excellent taste in literature, as well as the grace not to be condescending when I asked a series of questions on precisely how the alternator works- I'd had a general idea, but I like to know in detail. (Really, I just like to know things in general. I hoard facts.) We ended up leaving my car at the nearest mechanic (just across the street, actually) and leaving me at the nearest coffee shop to await pickup by a family member.

(Fun side note: I learned how easy it can be to track someone down. I had a bit of dinner, as I hadn't eaten, and when I was finishing the waitress came over, gave me an odd look, and handed me the restaurant's phone saying, 'This is for you.' It was my Mom, who had been the first person I called when I got to the pay phone. She had started to worry, and so had called my cell phone, which was answered by one of my guests, who told her the service station he knew I had ended up at. She then called the service station who told her that AAA had picked me up. She called AAA who called the tow truck driver who told them what café I was at, which my Mother then called. It was neat, in a creepy 'gee, it would be easy to stalk someone' kinda way.)

I was worried about the mechanic, as I had no idea what this particular one was like, and I was fairly certain that I had been overcharged the last two times I had had to get my car fixed. (Being young and female exacerbates that, I think. Bleh.) However, not only did he get it done in less that twenty-four hours, he also charged me half what I'd paid the last time I had to replace the alternator and fixed the trunk for free. Free! He had to replace the whole latch and did not charge me for it! MEH! So, if anyone needs a mechanic in the San Jose/Los Gatos/Saratoga/Campbell-ish area, I have a fantastic recommendation for you.

And that, with a bunch of Work Stuff and one or two Personal Things I'm A Bit Upset About But Won't Talk About In A Blog, is my New Year thus far. Sorry for the tl;dr, but I needed to rant.

Hope everyone else is having a good year so far!

Busy, busy, busy. In a 'sitting quietly knitting' kind of way.

2008-12-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

I haven't been posting, as life has largely been: work work work knit knit knit work work work Christmas Event! knit knit knit work work work and so on an so forth. My poor fingers are about to fall off between the typing and the knitting.

On the up side of things, I've been listening to a lot of new (for me) music as I've been sitting knitting. (Rhyming FTW!) 'Faultline' by Eliot Morris is my current song obsession. It actually touches me quite a lot, beyond a new song mini-obsession. It makes my heart ache; it is so beautiful. It very nearly made me cry, which is extremely unusual for me, and I'm not entirely sure why.

I've actually been very folksy and/or introspective in my musical selections of late- my current play list also includes 'We're All the Same' by Lukas Haas, 'I Explode' by E for Explosion and 'I Don't Feel It Anymore (Song of the Sparrow)' by William Fitzsimmons. They are all awesome, and you should go look them up RIGHT NOW. Go on. I'll wait.

Also, musical confession- I, erm, have kinda sorta grown to like Coldplay a little bit, and have been listening to 'Viva la Vida' (the entire album). Most of their older stuff (the songs 'Yellow' and 'In My Place' in particular) still makes me want to throttle Chris Martin, though. SOOOOO WHINY AUGH. Nevertheless, I do like Viva la Vida- 'Cemeteries of London' pulled me in. It's a dratted siren, that song. And then I found out that they are (reportedly) stitchy, and admit to sewing and/or knitting (no, srsly, yo!) and it was all downhill from there.

Overall, all of the Christmas knitting has been going passably well. I've eliminated or pushed back a few projects, so it's a bit less intense. More to the point, I'm having a fantastic time doing it. ^_^ Here's hoping I can get everything I want to done.

OOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!!!! OOH!!!!! OH! OH!

2008-11-30T01:48:00.000-05:00

I live in a small house in the mountains, in a rather rural area. This evening as I was sitting at the computer, which is right next to the sliding glass door, when the most exciting thing EVER happened. It went like this:

Me: *hums happy net surfing song*
Something on the back deck: rustle
Me: Wait, did I just see something move on the deck?
Something on the back deck: *yellow eyes*
Me: ...cat?
Cat: *comes closer*
Me: IT is a cat! I wonder what it's doing here...
Cat: *stares*
Me: Huh, maybe it belongs to someone...it sure is a big cat, though, I mean, it's huge...
Cat: *presses nose to glass, right next to me, stares more*
Me: A VERY large cat. A very large, gray spotted cat...with an oddly-shaped face...and fat, tufted cheeks...wait...
BOBcat: *stares more*
Me: ................!!!
Bobcat: *more staring*
Me: *twitch*
Bobcat: *RUNNING AWAY!!*
Me: THAT WAS SO AWESOME!

I have never, ever seen one so close- it was only a foot or so away!

................wait, what?

2008-11-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

I own one cat, and foster multiple others for a rescue (this one, to be precise). This means that I currently have 4 cats under my care:

My perma-cat, Lillith, who is awesome and gorgeous and loooovvvveelllyy:

(By the way, if you're thinking of adopting a cat and don't have a color-bias, please consider adopting a black one- they get placed way, way less often than any other type of cat.)

Victoria, who my Grandmother is planning on adopting, and who drives me mildly crazy:

And my latest, youngest additions- Peter and Parker (I did not have any control over the names, just so you know):

I've had these two for about a week now, and besides the general bounciness that is eight-week-old kittens, they've been very well behaved. Currently, they live in the bathroom most of the time because their food is different than what the girls get, and because it really isn't a great idea to let them have the run of the house unsupervised- kind of like toddlers, mmm?

I am generally a bath person, and will take very, very long baths quite frequently. (It'a a great time to read, actually, if you're careful.) Because the boys had been in the bathroom, I had been doing the quick-shower thing since I got them, and was getting a bit pouty about it. So last night I decided I would let them out (after some quick kitten-proofing in the rest of the house), have bathtime, and we would all live happily ever after, or something along those lines. Lil and Vic seem to think that water is their kryptonite, which is a usual trait for felines, so I wasn't expecting too many problems with this plan.

I'd been in the bath about ten minutes when I felt something pat my head. I looked up to find Peter, who had hopped up onto the shelf-like place at the end of the tub, and was staring at the water. This was unusual, but I was reluctant to grab him with wet hands, as I didn't think he'd like it much, so I let it go. This was not a good idea on my part. Peter apparently decided that he needed to touch that sloshy stuff, and fell in with a SPLASH, landing submerged to his neck and somehow sitting on my shoulder.

Me: *Gasp* Oh no oh no *braces for yowly scratchy time*
Peter: *stares at water* Huh.
M: *frozen stare* ??
P: You know, I appear to be mostly under water. Interesting.
M: Wha.....?!
P: *splashes* Oooohhh, this is kinda neat! Hey can, I try walking over to your other shoulder?
M: *de-freeze* Augh! *grabs Pete and sets him down on the rug, outside the bath*
P: *immediately jumps back up on the ledge, staring at the water again*
M: What is wrong with you? *sets him back down*
P: *solemn look*
M: *amazed look*
P: ........please?
M: NO!
P: Sigh. *starts grooming*
M: !!!?!

Yeah, what? Straaange little kitty, if adorable. It was just....different. He's actually really, really sweet, while his brother is a bit more runrunrunrunrunrunPOUNCErunrunrunrunrunJUMPrunrunrun and so on and so forth.

In other news, thank-you Simplicity for the award thingamajig:

I appreciate it, in an 'Aw shucks' kinda way. =) For those of you who might not know, she has a really nifty blog called Chasing Wentworth Miller, which you should definitely check out.

Meh? Meh! Meh.

2008-11-17T12:32:00.000-05:00

VALIDATION! One of my favorite and most overused words has finally been made official: 'Meh': Apathetic expression enters dictionary.

I am beyond pleased, despite the unseasonably warm weather. Meh.

P.S. Thanks, Gin, for pointing it out to me. ^_^

And I was doing so well, too.

2008-11-14T11:27:00.001-05:00

Time and location of incident: Parking lot at work, 5:36 pm.

Location of the keys: Just under the E-brake.

Method of entry: Uncle Mark and his slim jim. It's kinda disturbing how easy it is to break into a car, y'know?

Total hours locked out: 1.5, roughly, which is waaaaaaaay less than last time.

Number of incidents this year: 2- way under previous record! (knock on wood!)

Days since last locked keys in car: 1

Sigh.

I may just be crazy...like a fox?

2008-11-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

I have 13 projects to get done by Christmas, which is currently 1 month 1 week and five days away. This breaks down to a little more than 3 days per project. Augh. All of them are relatively small, but AUGH. I'm going to try to keep to a schedule, recorded here (coded for secretness!) in a desperate attempt to actually get myself to stick to it:

Nov. 16-22
- S2 Stocking Not yet begun, have pattern and yarn
- C6 Socks 55% finished
- P2 Socks 75% finished

Nov. 23-29
- CW Gloves Not yet begun, have yarn, need pattern
- FCW Hat Not yet begun, have pattern, need yarn

Nov. 30 - Dec. 6
- F1 Gloves Not yet begun, need pattern and possibly yarn
- B1 Hat 10% finished

Dec. 7-13
- B1 Gloves Not yet begun, need pattern (create?), have yarn
- B2 Gloves Not yet begun, need pattern, have yarn

Dec. 14-20
- C7 Bag Not yet begun, have yarn, need to create pattern
- P2 Gloves Not yet begun, have yarn, need to create pattern

Dec. 21-24
- C4 SOMETHING Not yet begun, need pattern and yarn
- C8 SOMETHING Not yet begun, need pattern and yarn

That should keep me plenty busy. You know, because work and all the various holiday events and such definitely aren't enough. Right? Right. Going off to knit now...

Preoccupation Encore

2008-11-08T21:10:00.000-05:00

What Monica is currently thinking a lot about, in no particular order:

1. Various Christmas knitting projects, with a focus in sock design
2. How happy she is now that we have entered her favorite five months of the year, complete with correct times and rainy goodness
3. The nature and wisdom of waiting and patience
4. Quiche recipes
5. Christmas Party planning
6. Procuring a ring to replace the broken one, whose absence is driving her nuts
7. Vladimir Putin

Which, with work on top of it (though I manage not to bring it home mentally, as a rule) is quite enough, I think.

So...beautiful...sniff

2008-10-30T15:49:00.001-04:00

I can hardly contain my joy, it is so fierce!

That is all.

Note to self: Stop tempting fate. Srsly.

2008-10-28T00:36:00.000-04:00

Three? Did I say it comes in threes? Apparently I underestimated. A LOT. GAAAAHHH. I’m not going to enumerate everything but it has been difficult. I don’t think I’m out of the woods quite yet, but I’m crossing my fingers and hoping I’m on the right path out.

A great source of help and moral support has been this:

Included is:

Kona Vanilla Macadamia Nut Coffee

Peaberry Kona Coffee

German Black Forest Truffles

Kona Coffee Dark Chocolate Macadamias

Dark Chocolate Macadamias

A GIANT bag of macadamia kisses

Lion Wool in White and Black

A size H crochet hook

Crochet instruction pamphlet

Matching journal and pen set

Hawaii 2009 calendar

Swapping on Ravelry? AWESOMETASTIC. Unfortunately due to The General Unpleasantness which included prolonged lack-of-internet, I was really, really late in thanking bebeangel, who sent me this wonderfulness. It is fantastic, though, and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around crochet, which doesn’t come very easily to me. (Knitting seems to mesh better with my mind, which is a very linear place.) It was kind of neat that we ended up getting each other as swap partners, because she’s a crocheter who is looking at learning to knit, and I’m the reverse- we kinda sent each other beginner kits.

Knitting and running around like crazy to deal with all the GU stuff has kept me pretty well busy- I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. On a slightly better note, while I have been excessively anxious about everything, I’m not a wreck. Oddly, under all of it, I still feel pretty grounded, which has definitely not been the case in the past. Yay for me.

I should get back to my knitting- there is much to be done before Christmas, and I have WAAAAAY too many WIPs right now. But having the internet back is distracting! Ah, well.

It really does seem to come in threes.

2008-09-29T18:17:00.000-04:00

Trouble, that is. The first and second bits arrived about a week ago, and the third showed up yesterday in the form of car trouble that may well prove to be quite expensive. I am trying to hang in there, but not even Ren faire and knitting sucess (to be posted as soon as I get the pictures) could cheer me up (!!!), and let's face it- the news certainly won't either. Speaking of, I wonder what that third will be? We have a bank failure, bailout issues with accompanying extreme stock market slide (soon coming to a theme park near you!) and...? I'm waiting for the final blow here.

The worst part of this, for me personally as well as the American population and the world at large, is that we can't even trust our best form of comfort.

Gah. I'm going to go try and cheer myself up, somehow.

Preoccupation

2008-08-28T12:18:00.000-04:00

I am a creature of mini-obsessions. This is true of food, thoughts, clothes, colors, people, etc. I will get entirely absorbed by something, and want it ALL THE TIME. A good food example was the recent lemon pepper tuna craze- it's all I wanted to eat, even if I'd already had it twice that day. The good side of all of this is that when I get interested, I want to learn, so I pick up quite a bit of information- this knowledge of many varied topics makes it easy to talk to just about anyone, which is nice. The not-so-great side is that I tend to suddenly get tired of whatever-it-is and want to drop it. I really need to work on that on the people end of things- it's not very nice, and it makes me feel terribly guilty when I suddenly don't want to hang out so much- it's pretty confusing all around, actually.

My Current Obsessions

1. Knitting
A. Alpaca
B. Fingerless gloves
C. Colorwork
2. Horses- riding lessons, mostly
3. Librarianship
4. The ocelot. Then again, this is really more of a perma-obsession
5. Purple- a plum-ish purple, to be precise
6. The inherent fogginess of the pacific northwest, mostly Oregon and Washington
7. What my favorite scents are (The list so far: Lavendar,
Eucalyptus, Mint, Rosemary, Sage, Cedar, Wet Earth, Clean Pigeons, Horses, Ozone)
8. Alfred Hitchcock's influence on modern american cinema

That's pretty much the circuit my brain makes throughout the day. At least it's got a little variety, I guess. Unfortunately, work isn't currently on that list, so I'm having to really force myself into it- ugh. I get so annoyed at myself when my brain goes into not-work mode.

Sneaking up on me...

2008-08-14T17:13:00.000-04:00

The day was perfectly fine when I woke up this morning- sunny, everything in place, early to work so I got coffee- I was optimistic. Then, slowly, bit by bit not good things kept cropping up, creeping in until I found myself smack dab in the middle of a bona fide Bad Day. I hate it when they creep up on me like that! Masquerading as good days just to get my defenses down! This is why it pays to be a pessimist- you either get the satisfaction of being right or an unexpected but pleasant surprise. Optimism is a trap, a trap I tell you!

I’m going to go wallow in self pity by listening to angry music, knitting, and admiring finished projects until I feel better. Blah.

I can haz Kitteh?!

2008-08-01T10:34:00.000-04:00

We have a new cat! She came with the name Lillith, which, while pretty, makes me feel like I've got cotton in my mouth when I say it quickly. She's a sleek, black DSH, and is very, VERY extroverted- she literally begs and begs and begs for attention, virtually non-stop. I think that, as she has always been in multi-cat homes, she's a bit lonely. Lucky for her we'll be acquiring her friend Sitka, who is also black but has longer hair, in a few weeks.

Does anyone know how the heck did it get to be August?! And Friday?! Where did the days go? This month has just flown by- augh! I've been to preoccupied to notice. Meh. I don't like summer anyway, so getting it over with quickly is nice, I guess. I still feel like the Evil Time Fairies have been stealing hours and days from me, though...

In other news, I've been knitting like crazy. The project I'm working on most at the moment is The Purple Sweater, but I'm going to need to set it aside for a month or so, first because I need to do some sort of bachelorette-party type garment (still thinking on that one, though I should really start tomorrow) and then my Green Gable for the Ravelympics, which I am way, WAY too excited about. Far more so than the actual Olympics, actually- once again, I prefer winter to summer, though the gymnastics are always fun to watch. The running on the other hand- not so much. I just don't get excited about a bunch of people running in circles over and over and over again.

Question for anyone who enjoys slacking.....

2008-04-04T11:18:00.000-04:00

How do you do it? No, really? I kinda seem to suck at relaxing, really. For some reason, I feel like if I don't have a defined goal, I'm useless. I can even be doing something prodctive, but unless I'm striving for something, I get kinda depressed. Or maybe I'm kinda depressed about something else and striving for a goal just distracts me from it? I wonder.

How many cause-and-effect associations do we make about our own emotions that are like that? I mean, it would make sense to think that because I am unhappy when I don't have a defined goal and happy when I have one that having a goal or the lack thereof is what has a direct impact on my emotional state. But what if it's just a distraction, a cover for not dealing with other things that are bothering me? And what if other goal-oriented people have similar issues?

How could this concept apply to other things? Are the things that we think make us happy actually causing happiness, or just distracting from other issues? Cheering yourself up and/or coping are obvious examples of this, I'm thinking on a wider emotional level here- how much is being happy caused by outside circumstances, and how much is our own internal emotional state, or denial thereof? Do the things that make us happy really make us happy? At the end of the day, it's probably a bit of both, I think- most things tend to be, hmm?

I really need to learn to take a vacation. Geez.

Well. That was stupid. Really, really REALLY stupid.

2008-03-20T17:00:00.000-04:00

Everyone has a flaw or two, right? I mean, I consider myself to be an intelligent, normally down-to-earth person, but if there happens to be a foible or two in there it just adds character, right? Right? Anyone?

Incidentally, all you really need to break into your locked, running car that just so happens to be blocking the gate on the only road into or out of a relatively remote mountain property is some strong wire, a splitting wedge, and total disregard for your fingers. A flashlight is pretty useful, too, but why not take advantage of the moonlight? Very pretty, that moon, especially when you’ve been staring at it for sometime while sitting on the hood of the aforementioned running, locked car, waiting for someone to show up with a method of breaking in, as your spare key is at home an hour or more away. Yeah. And hey, an important life skill was learned- how to break into a car! I mean, come ON- totally useful, yes? I myself can think of many applications, some of which are even legal. Goodness only knows I’ll probably need the skill again. I wonder if there’s a way to attach that wedge and wire under the car….

Le GASP!

2008-03-19T14:38:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness, it's a new blog! Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for writing of epic proportions, words that will blow you away where you stand, leaving nothing but single minded adoration for my humble self!

Or, you know, maybe I'll keep this updated and vaguely entertaining. If I feel like it. Ish. Wait, where are you going? Sheesh, I know we aren't all optimists here, but give a girl a chance! I'll try! Honest!

Catch you when I can.